Momentary Heart Failure - Panic Stations

Any parent can relate to this one.

Every day when I'm at work I phone my home at about 3:30 pm to ensure my kids have arrived home in one piece from school. They walk home by themselves and that alone gives me heart palpitations. My oldest is 12, the youngest 8, and they both have to cross a fairly busy street to get home. There are three marked pedestrian cross walks that they can choose from and no car stops at any of them. This really pisses me off as there are kids everywhere walking to and from school everyday.

So the other day I made my usual 3:30 pm phone call....

3:30 pm, ring ring ring ring ring..."Hi you've reached..."
okay maybe they are walking slowly; will try in a few...

3:45 pm, ring ring ring ring ring..."Hi you've reached..."
okay, wft where are they? They should be home...don't panic perhaps they are outside playing even though they know they aren't supposed to be when mom and dad aren't there...

4:00 pm ring ring ring ring ring..."Hi you've reached..."
OKAY NOW I'M PANICKING. SOMETHING'S HAPPENED, SOMEONE'S TAKEN THEM, A CAR HAS HIT THEM, SOMEONES IN THE HOUSE WITH THEM, MY HEART IS BEATING SO FAST I CAN'T EVEN PHONE MY HUSBAND'S CELL PHONE CORRECTLY....

4:02 pm phoning husband's cell because he's not picking up his phone at work

Me: WHERE ARE YOU???
Husband: Just walking out of the clinic's office, my ear is bugging me and I wanted them to have a look
Me: HAVE YOU PHONED THE KIDS????
Husband: No
Me: THEY'RE NOT PICKING UP THE PHONE!!!!!!! GET THE POOP HOME
Husband: I'm about three minutes away
Me: PHONE ME WHEN YOU GET THERE...!!!!

4:07 pm Husband phones me from home
They're soaking wet. "E" forgot his house key and they couldn't get in. They've been standing outside.

Me thinking:..........Oh thank the good Lord above. I will never swear ever again. I'll always be nice to people from now on. I'll never judge a person by the horrid outfit they're wearing. I'll also never a judge a person by the horrid shoes they're wearing. I promise to make dinner more than twice a week that's not a bowl of cereal....etc, etc.

I just aged 10 years...but I'm still wearing sexy shoes.