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Saturday, June 18, 2011

The Piss Mom Off Chromosome

Yup, my 12 year old has it. This chromosome that suddenly sprouts pre-teen, is switched on and pretty much runs rampant and makes itself known in a big way.

The Piss Mom Off Chromosome, otherwise known as the "I'll keep my room a mess just to defy the old nag", as well as "if you tell me what do to I'm not going to do it".

Warning, this chromosome comes along with extra special add-ons like "go have a shower, your body is changing (ya stank)", and "can you please remove your shoes - preferably to a location miles from me", all followed by a resounding "NO!"

This chromosome dramatically changes a luvy, snugly little boy into a sarcastic, foul mouthed, defiantly other worldly, raised in a barn, comatose, genetically altered, Nintendo DSI attached man-child who, surely to GOD I never gave birth to.

It's almost like the terrible twos didn't leave, they just hibernated for a few years, then came back with a vengeance to crap all over my world.

And what's with this plowing through my fridge and food cupboards like a Tornado ripping through a town? Nothing but crumbs and dust on the floor in his wake.

I feel like murdering love my boy but good lord, REALLY?!?!? I've gone through the manual the doctor handed me at the hospital 12 years ago to try to troubleshoot this. I think the instructions are skewed. I wonder if I can find my receipt and make a return.

Okay fine, I'm kidding.

*The man-child is still living - I haven't murdered him...yet
**I've got an 8 year old heading in the same direction. Yay me. Humph!
***I was never like this, never...really ask my mom...
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7 comments:

  1. BarbaraJune 18, 2011 at 11:22 AM

    Oh goodie! Something to look forward too! I actually know it's coming, I guess I have 10 years to prepare!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Twisted MummyJune 18, 2011 at 12:53 PM

    Ahaha, I suppose every kid goes through it. LOL.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ann JonesJune 20, 2011 at 3:31 PM

    With two boys I don't look forward to that stage :) New follower from the monday hop, look forward to your future posts! You can find me at
    http://wvfrugal-wvsaver.blogspot.com/

    ReplyDelete
  4. Laura Grace AndryJune 21, 2011 at 11:07 AM

    I am following from the Social Media Monday Bloh Hop. I love this story! I think it might start even earlier than 12. My 2 year old loves to tell me no. I swear it is his favorite word. That or No Way Mommy.

    ReplyDelete
  5. tracey.becker1@gmail.comJune 21, 2011 at 4:54 PM

    I totally understand. 12 year old and 9 year old boys over here. Yay testosterone...

    ReplyDelete
  6. AnonymousJune 23, 2011 at 1:10 PM

    Don't think that only happens with boys. I have a 12 year old daughter who is the same. She could care less that her room is a mess, you have to remind her that she is a little lady and needs to shower and the attitude. Oh thank you but I've got enough of my own I don't need hers.

    ReplyDelete
  7. AnonymousJune 24, 2011 at 7:19 PM

    Hi there I'm Ellie from the Mom Mart Blog Hop. I'm also a new follower. Please stop by A Little of This and a Little of That and follow back.
    (http://alittleoftheother.com)
    Have an excelllent weekend,

    Ellie

    ReplyDelete