Our Halloween House

How do you know it's Halloween?

Houses are dress up in creepy, crawly, ghoulishness.

And if your house is like mine, your kids have put up anything that resembles the Halloween image, in any location they can reach, in a hodge podge manner, just because.

I've seen these "just because" decorations in a few houses. Odds and ends, bits and pieces, placed here and there with no thought to "decoration flow". I personally don't really care about this hodge podge mess of chaos. The kids are so excited about going out on Halloween night, so setting up their "decorations" makes them feel excited about this yearly event.

We've got spider webs blowing in the breeze, taped to the windows to stay put. Paper masks taped to the windows peeking out for anybody to see (given to the boys by a restaurant we were at last week as a kids take away toy), and about a weeks work of papers and flyers stuffed into plastic ghosts and pumpkins splattered all over the place.

These guys constantly rotate to face the house and stay that way, never looking out unless you manually turn them...only to turn back again. We got these at Ross in the States.

Off to the left of the picture is a bit of spider web that blows in the breeze. Every time it billows and I happen to be near the window, I catch a glimpse of this billowing string out of the corner of my eye, and I think there's someone outside my window.

This is what lights up the boys faces each morning.

Oh, I love me some free stuff!

Because I'm a smart shopper.

Whilst (probably the first time I've ever used that word) strolling through the isles at my local Real Canadian Super Store, I saw me an amazing sight in the cereal isle. Not only was the cereal on sale, but check this out...

Look at all the words "free" on the boxes!!!!

Now before I'm judged on the choice of cereal for the kids, I don't go above 10 grams of sugar per serving. If the box has more than 10 grams per serving, then I don't get it. You have to choose your battles right? One small bowl of Nesquik (I pour it out to control amount) followed by All Bran, or some such, to finish up the milk in the bowl, I think is a fair trade off to get my kids to eat healthy. Then they spend the rest of they day eating fruit, veggies, etc.

Okay, back to the free stuff. Check it out. With the Life box, you get a free box of Quaker Chewy granola bars. I pay the tax of course. Alpha-Bits get us a free t-shirt when you go on-line and enter in a special pin code. We've done this many times before with cereal boxes. Just within the last month we got our two free beach towels in the mail care of Cheerios. The Nesquik will get me my choice of free yogurt. I think I'm going for the container of Asana - Yoplait I think.

So needless to say I got many boxes of these cereals. Each one cost no more than $2.99 each. I'd say that's a pretty good deal. Cereal and free stuff for under three bucks.

I'm good!! (patting myself on the back)

Seriously, is there something hanging out my nose?

You know when you’re walking down the street and it seems like everyone you pass is staring at you?

 

This happened to me today on my walk at lunch. My first reaction was “is my fly open?” - discretely checking crotch area, making sure not to look like I’m scratching “the area” cuz I’ve got an itch - Fly is up!

 

Okay keep walking. And more staring.

 

Crap, is my make up smudged on my face - did I sneeze when my mascara was wet. No don’t think so, I would have noticed when I was in the bathroom before leaving for my walk…did I remember to actually look at myself in the mirror? -  Ya I think I did.

 

Jeez, I need to find a store pronto, that has a mirror I can look into….more staring.

 

For the love of Nancy, WHAT!!! Is there something hanging out my nose? - pretending to scratch my nose, secretly looking for loose boogers – sorry to be gross – that might be visible - Nope, nothing I can feel, and I’m PRETTY SURE I’d never leave my own house with boogers hanging out my nose.

 

…Okay, there’s a store…saunter in…nice shoes, good sale, those are pretty…move towards the mirror…grab a pair of shoes to pretend to examine…check self in mirror…

 

All good from what I can see.

 

Sales person asks me if I’d like her to find those shoes in my size. To which I reply “No thanks, I’m just checking to see if I have a booger hanging out my nose looking at the moment, thanks.

 

So why in the name of God does it seem that everyone’s looking at me. I can’t possibly be that worth looking at…could I?

 

People, you’re making me paranoid here.

You wanna card me...right?

Tonight I was at the liquor store with my son to get wine for our Thanksgiving weekend. As we're standing in line my son reads out loud the sign about showing ID. "If you look 25 or younger, show your ID", or something like that. I explain what that means.

So I'm up, my turn to pay for my two bottles of wine.

Checkout guy is looking at my face.

"Hi", I say with a big smile because I'm trying to look young friendly.

Thinking in my head: C'mon, you know you wanna card me, just go ahead, ask for it....

Nothing.

I'm staring into his very soul with all my will, strength, and any other worldly power: Ask, PLEASE ask? Pretty please?

Nothing.

Thinking in my head very loudly: OH. COME. ON. I WANT YOU TO ASK SO THAT I CAN SHOW YOU MY DRIVERS LICENSE AND THEN FEEL ALL GOOD ABOUT MYSELF...

...and then outwardly gloat to the folks behind me in line that I am in fact well over the 19 years of age drinking age limit and I look DAMN good for my age...see aren't I pretty?...I know you're jealous.

Nothing.

Transaction completed and have a nice day.

Well thanks for nothing, old man. Way to bring me down to even lower depths of despair over fact that I'm nearing 30 39 (holy crap) 40 and I'm trying to hang on to my youth (sniff, sob, I'm getting old).

Status update: currently drowing my sorrows in some good wine.