And now back to me

My mother told me never to lie, and I'm a good girl who does what she's told. So I guess I'll just have to tell the truth about me.

I'm a 5 foot 8, 120 lb hottie.
I have perky boobs size 34 C.
I fit perfectly into size 2 jeans
My skin is flawless and I look 10 years younger than my age.
I have perfect posture 100% of the time
My clothes are perfectly ironed and stain free

When I hang out the laundry to dry the birds sing and woodland creatures come out to say hello and pretty music plays.

I can get all the housework done in no time while said woodland creatures whistle and sing and I dance while holding a broom in my hand and dream of my Prince Charming.

My Prince Charming always smells nice even after he's worked out.
He doesn't burp or fart.
He always leaves the toilet seat down.
He always brings me a fresh flower everyday.
He helped me create two perfectly behaved little gentlemen.

My little mini Princes are always perfectly behaved.
They never fight with each other.
They always give me a kiss and hug each morning before leaving for school.
They always hug and kiss me when they get home.
They never miss the toilet seat and pee on the floor.

Our family IS that perfect unit who is always smiling in pictures, like a Senokot ad, we're all regular and happy. And all posed artistically too.

My garden is perfectly tended to, and magically all my flowers bloom gloriously and stand tall praying to the sun that shines everyday.

My house always smells fresh.

**Sound of record player scratching....

TaDa. Not:

*seriously tho' I'm a fun loving gal
**love wine and shoes
***wouldn't change a gosh darn thing about my family