This morning I walked into our gym/computer room to grab my jacket and saw the most ENORMOUS spider ever. This thing was about five feet long, and four feet high - seriously.
How in the name of all things cute and cuddly am I going to get my jacket out of this room.
Thinking in a whisper...cuz that makes all the difference:
"Maybe if I tiptoe quietly it won't see me and laser me with it's x-ray eyes."
Oh my God it's looking at me.
Kid comes in: "Hey mom, where's my.."
Me whispering in a yell: "SHSHSHSHSHSHSH, you have to whisper or It. Will. Hear. You"
OH MY GOT IT MOVED. IT MOVED. IT MOVED.
Inside voice: "I don't have time to vacuum it up; I have to get to work." (yes I really do vacuum spiders up but this one won't fit through the nozzle because it's SIX FEET LONG!)
Oh no. WHERE WILL IT BE WHEN I GET HOME FROM WORK?!?!
That's it, I'm never stepping foot inside that room again...which is right next to my bedroom so potentially the spider could venture into that room, so I'm never stepping foot inside my bedroom again.
Crap, this is really giving me major anxiety. I mean this is one of those people-eating spiders with large fangs, and front legs that can grab you when you wander into a room to get your jacket.
See look how HUGE it is...right?
Did I mention I HATE spiders?