Thursday, December 15, 2011

Obituaries - Alarm Clock

An alarm clock met it's untimely death by being stomped on in a fit of frustrated tired rage this morning.

For two mornings in a row, said alarm clock didn't "alarm" in the morning, resulting in the Mom waking up way late for work.

Waking up "way late for work" results in the Mom speeding through morning rituals:

  • Half-ass hair wash
  • Underarm soap not being rinsed completely
  • "Other" soap not being rinsed completely - potential awkward ichfest
  • Record breaking shower that should have earned a speeding ticket
  • Forgetting to brush the teeth - thank God for the ancient toothbrush and toothpaste at work
  • No eye makeup
  • Speed-drinking the morning coffee - resulting in a stomach cramp
  • And just generally whacking the Mom's day off kilter

Alarm clock will not be missed because this is not the first, second, or even sixth time it hasn't "alarmed" in the morning. Alarm clock has earned the nickname "Piece of Shite".

The funeral was held after work. By funeral the Mom means the zillion little pieces that were the "Piece of Shite" being unceremoniously dumped in the trash.

Good riddance, Piece of Shite. You will not be missed.


Barbara said...

This is why my DH always has five or six different alarms set in the morning and it drives me insane. I wish he would just take a baseball bat to the one in the bedroom, buy a new one and turn off ALL of the other alarms!

Michael Ann said...

HATE when that happens!!

Shanda said...

I'm your newest GFC follower from the VB blog hop. I hope you will come follow back.