Thursday, May 26, 2011

I never was, but that's okay, and I'm content

I never was the popular kid in school, or through out most of my life for that matter. But that's okay. I've carved out my place now and I'm content with it. I wouldn't change it for the world.

I never was the smartest kid in school, or growing up. But I managed to figure out how to get through things my way (okay, so my way might be strange and archaic), but that's okay, I'm fine with that and I get by.

I never was the prettiest kid growing up. Skinny, under bite (that surgery corrected), braces, and acne. I just wanted to fit in but I didn't. But that's okay now. I've grown into myself and when I look into the mirror I like what I see. Okay so the hair is frizzy and sometimes looks messy but that's not my fault. I live in Vancouver so moisture is the enemy.

I never was a boy magnet growing up. All I wanted was my crushes to notice me not my dorkiness. I'd hurt everyday knowing how my crushes thought I was weird (flat as a board and never been nailed). But that's okay. I've scored my Tom Cruise look alike now. We made two good looking kids, so it's all good. Ha, take that crushes. Snooze you loose. Boom!

I was bullied in Elementary and Highschool. Little did I know my mom knew about it and reported it to the school. The teachers were secretly looking out for me and I had no idea. God bless her for that. And I'll never forget my friend sneaking me out side doors in Highschool to avoid a girl who wanted to beat me up after school. It worked. Thank you!.

I never was confident  - was always an extremely shy and introverted person growing up. Being around people terrified me. It still does to be honest. I'm only comfortable around people who I feel close to. Put me in a room with strangers and expect me to socialize - not going to happen. That's fine with me, other people can be the socializers.

This all brings me to today. Heading towards my 40's I finally feel comfortable with me. I feel pretty most of the time (on the good hair days, damn you rain). I don't care if my jokes don't get laughed at. I know I look younger than 39 (or so I've been told). I know I look great after having two kids - I've kept my small'ish shape.

I know I'm good at my job because of the way I think things through (my brain is strange). I'm always thinking ahead and I'm always thinking of small details. Okay so sometimes I screw up but I'm human. I'm fine with that. I work with the best group of folks who have accepted me for me. These are my second family.

I have two awesome boys who are smarter and more popular that I ever was - than I am now if we want to get real (I think that's from their Dad, how did I - ME!!! - ever score him??!!).

I'm content with me today.

1 comment:

Ginger said...

You are one of the most kind and wonderful people I know, full stop. Love you twisted mummy!