Friday, April 29, 2011

Vagina Hat

Cinderella's evil stepsisters:

Beatrice on the right is wearing Cindy LooHoo's hat
Eugenie on the left is wearing a VAGINA HAT!!!!

Okay this is a better anatomically correct hat! That's a lot of blue lady.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Momentary Heart Failure - Panic Stations

Any parent can relate to this one.

Every day when I'm at work I phone my home at about 3:30 pm to ensure my kids have arrived home in one piece from school. They walk home by themselves and that alone gives me heart palpitations. My oldest is 12, the youngest 8, and they both have to cross a fairly busy street to get home. There are three marked pedestrian cross walks that they can choose from and no car stops at any of them. This really pisses me off as there are kids everywhere walking to and from school everyday.

So the other day I made my usual 3:30 pm phone call....

3:30 pm, ring ring ring ring ring..."Hi you've reached..."
okay maybe they are walking slowly; will try in a few...

3:45 pm, ring ring ring ring ring..."Hi you've reached..."
okay, wft where are they? They should be home...don't panic perhaps they are outside playing even though they know they aren't supposed to be when mom and dad aren't there...

4:00 pm ring ring ring ring ring..."Hi you've reached..."

4:02 pm phoning husband's cell because he's not picking up his phone at work

Husband: Just walking out of the clinic's office, my ear is bugging me and I wanted them to have a look
Husband: No
Husband: I'm about three minutes away

4:07 pm Husband phones me from home
They're soaking wet. "E" forgot his house key and they couldn't get in. They've been standing outside.

Me thinking:..........Oh thank the good Lord above. I will never swear ever again. I'll always be nice to people from now on. I'll never judge a person by the horrid outfit they're wearing. I'll also never a judge a person by the horrid shoes they're wearing. I promise to make dinner more than twice a week that's not a bowl of cereal....etc, etc.

I just aged 10 years...but I'm still wearing sexy shoes.

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

Meet Rocky

So this is the long dead dawg, Rocky. I miss his little furry face!

Most people boast that "their cat is the cutest", or "their dog is the cutest", etc. As far as I'm concerned, Rocky was the cutest pooch ever, the best dog I ever had...okay so the first dog lasted all of a week, and Rocky was the second and last, but still, best dog ever.

I must have been in grade 6 when we got him from the West Van SPCA, as a 9 week old mutt. A cross between a Sheltie and a Cocker (I know who's laughing at that) Spaniel.

If you can look past the hideously barf worthy sweater I'm wearing, awww, he's so cute!

I remember when we did a camping trip down to the Grand Canyon in the Griswold Mobile. He'd hang over the back seat of our 70's era Pontiac station wagon breathing out his stank dog breath over my dad's shoulder. And when we drove up to a McDonald's drive through and ordered 5 ice cream cones, the drive thru clerk would count four humans in the car...??? Hey the dog wanted his treat too.

This is about as close as he'd get to the water. I dumped him over the side of a boat once (close to shore!!) so he'd have no other choice but to swim...right up to the shore, out of the water and as far away from the drink as he could get. This was a dog that would walk around puddles.

Rocky was put down at the ripe old age of 15. My oldest kid was about 4 months old and the only picture we have of them is "E" crying his little heart out and Rocky getting the heck away from the screaming poop stinking little human.

He's buried under a rose bush at my parent's old house where we grew up. That rose bush is still there (we've done drive bys) and it's growing big.

I'm working on my husband for us to get a dog. He's not much of a pet person. He'll tolerate a hamster, or a fish, but a dog, forget it. Maybe one day.

I'm about to poop. Would you mind looking away please?

Monday, April 25, 2011

My Grandmother the Camera Bandit

I was at my parent's house the other night for dinner and I decided to go through some pictures they have in various boxes looking for some nice shots of our long dead family dog. I want to do a write up about him and thought a few cute pics of the ol' furball would be nice. So of course, this giant mess of Kodak hell, pre-digital duh, resembles a photo graveyard. As I'm going through this tornado of photos I'm thinking, "when they (parents) kick the bucket, I have to organize all this, cuz this mess is nasty".

There were photos randomly strewn everywhere, in no particular order, ranging from my mother's childhood in India, my birthday parties, visits to Scotland, the pooch of course, my children (obviously)...

...and a number that were taken by my Grandmother, God bless her, I miss her.

My Grandmother lived a somewhat privileged life, travelling the world with my Grandfather. My Grandfather doted on her and would do anything for her. However, I would compare my Grandmother's use of a camera somewhat how I would compare my own mother's modern day take on the Internet, her email, and a computer - "My invisible Internet lines keep breaking when I have my bedroom window open and wind comes in and blows the Internet waves" (she actually said this when I was looking for a picture, I'm not kidding - luv you mummy) - you get it.

So to prove my point (love ya Grannie, miss ya, mean it), here are a few pictures she took that I was able to scan. See for yourself a rookie photographer at work:

This is a picture of a window at my Grandparent's house in Scotland. The people in the lower left hand corner are me the little one, and my part of Great Aunt.

This next shot is of the same window at a different angle. The foot peaking out of the left hand corner is mine.

You could argue that she was taking pictures of her windows and I just happened to get in the way...but I'm pretty sure she was trying to get a cute shot of her first grandchild....pretty certain!

Here's one in North Vancouver after we moved from the UK and my Grandparents were visiting. This is a picture of a brick wall, a plastic scooter, part of a tricycle, and not sure if you can see, but if there's a hand on the left hand side, it's mine posing with my tricycle.

Again, taking a picture of wall and surrounding apartments? Probably not. She wants to take a picture of her grandchild back to Scotland with her to show the relatives. I can only imagine the photo developer's reaction when these babies were processing.

And this beauty here is the camera bandit herself, my Grandmother, as a child. Probably 1920-1930 or so. She certainly was a looker. I think she works better in front of the camera, don't you?

My next post will be about the dog. He was a cutie also.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

The Sit Off - The Sh@t Off

If you work in an office, you know you've done it.

A certain urge comes over you and you head to the loo to spend more than a penny and someone follows you in there and, really, you've both got the same agenda, you're in there for the same have a deep seated (haha deep seated) conversation with John.

You both pick your favourite stall (and in my case there are only three on my floor so you're not miles away from each other - you're side by each). And that's when the "The Sit Off" begins. Who's going to shit first and get the heck outta there. But you end up sitting in there together like you're in some sort of Survivor challenge race for the prize - who's going to last the longest and come out the winner and go back to your tribe with the Immunity Idol?

This is what ladies do. They don't want to be the person that people think "she's the one who stinks the office loo up at 10:45 am each morning. Guys, they don't care. They'll crap just about anywhere and not care.

Why am I writing about this? I have no effing clue - I don't partake in "sit offs" at work.

I have farted in there tho.....

Thursday, April 21, 2011

One, Two, Three strikes you're out...again!

(little league that is)

Similar to how the Canucks played game 4 of the Stanley Cup Playoffs 2011 against the Chicago Blackhawks, this is how the Bounty Bunters played a game against the Red Sox.

And therein lies the first problem. The opposing team had displayed proudly across the chests of their jerseys RED SOX. I'm not a huge baseball fan exactly. I love watching my boys play in their little league - it's very exciting - but I'm pretty sure that the Red Sox are a good team in the big leagues. As this was an inter-league game we have different uniforms. Our parents were glad that our team didn't have Bounty Bunters displayed across their chests - like really. (Our team's name was made up by the kids themselves...and they voted on it...and this is what they chose?! I can't help thinking of Bountiful when I hear the team name and all us moms are sister wives.)

And the coaches kept yelling out "c'mon Double Bs...", "we can do this Double Bs..." and of course it sounds like they're making some sort of boob reference. I decided to Google the words Bounty Bunter as an image and this is what I got:

Go figure??

To top it off, the other team had laid out on a fold up picnic table a feast - hot dogs, chips, pop (soda for you American folks). Now in Double A the "after game treats" end, I mean they are older now and this isn't T-Ball anymore. So the situation in my mind was kind of like this:

We're playing Survivor and this is one of those food challenges, the Red Sox are feasting on their grub and winning this game, while the Bounty Bunters are losing this game and as a result, starving and watching everyone else stuff their faces.

End score was 10 to 5 for the Red Sox obv. All kidding aside (AND I AM KIDDING, I'M NOT A POOR SPORT MOM), the boys played very well, they had a great time and I'm excited to watch another season of grade 5 and 6 boys baseball. It totally rocks.

Go Bounty Bunters, get your bat on!

Monday, April 18, 2011


Project: Blown Egg Collage

It's back. Every year the school has their ever popular "egg"stravaganza to celebrate Easter. Any kid wanting to participate needs to get their creation on and put together some sort of  scene of blown eggs to be showcased in the hallway of the school. First prize: a load of Easter chocolates.

So we got our creation on...and as much as I wanted to take this project over and create something totes wick'id, I had to reign in my desire to create an obvious parent-put-together masterpiece and let my boys do the work. But I was able to have a little say in what the scene might entail and we settled on....drum roll....

The B'egg'les

Yep and here they are:

Ringo looks pretty sexy behind the drum.

Simple, yet cute I think and certainly not something that required my endless (and take away from my weekend fun activities gawd forbid) help.

So there you have it, an idea if looking for one and very easy to do. The only hard part of this project was blowing (a'hem hehe) the eggs without popping an eyeball out.

Here's hoping for a prize of some sort. Hoppy Easter!

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Toothpaste Tube - End of a Sad Life

So if you're like me, you try to get as much as humanly possible out of the products you purchase. I'm the type of person who will add a little water to the very last drips of shampoo in order to get a final lather out of the bottle. I'll also add a few drops of water to the last bit of salad dressing in the bottle, just enough to get it liquidy enough (not too liquidy that's it's now water) but enough to get the last little bit out of the bottle that would have otherwise not been able to get squeezed out.

(My co-worker - you know who you are - we're on the same page here aren't we hehe, you do it too!)

So this morning my husband was about to throw away the toothpaste tube and open a new one and I basically flipped (this is pre-coffee so don't judge; my mental metre - note CDN spelling - was completely whacked and I'm sure he thought I was about to go into cardiac arrest). So I took that little tube from his quivering hands and I squeezed the last breath of life out of that little sucker, enough to get all four of us our pearly whites did.

See here's the thing. Colgate, Crest, etc, count on folks who are too lazy ass to (marketing lesson here folks) squeeze the life out the toothpaste tube. If a tube is thrown away with any left in it, you need to buy a new one sooner, hence quicker profits for the company. But not me. I'm getting my money's worth out of the $0.97 tube of Walmart purchased tooth scrubber if it kills me. And it nearly did kill me - my fingers are practically bruised damit trying to turn that tube inside out.

I am SuperMom, hell bent on not letting the big guns out smart us little people. I will prevail.

Friday, April 15, 2011

Holy Sh@t - that's a lot of fiber

Why is it the older we get the more we worry about getting our fiber intake and staying regular?

I was looking at a bag of Chia powder that belongs to one of my co-workers and when I noticed that there was 7 grams of fiber per 2 tablespoons, I basically yelled out "Holy Shit, that's a lot of fiber" at which point one of my other co-workers started laughing and after about two minutes I finally got it. That then became the quote of the day.

Every now and again, we would out of the blue, say "holy shit that's a lot of fiber" and keep on working as if nothing happened. We do that a lot here, blurting out random oddities.

So of course after I blurted out our quote of the day, we started talking about the fact that most of us have boxes of All Bran Buds at our desks, and/or bring these pooper pellets in Zip Lock baggies to work (I sprinkle mine on yogurt) and that pretty much proves my point, we're getting old and bowel movements are normal conversation between us. Come to think of it, body parts are a regular topic of fun around these parts.

Speaking of body parts, I walked home today over the bridge and there are paintings on the pathway of where pedestrians vs. bikes need to be to avoid collisions, etc., and this is what I saw. Someone took the time to do this mid span of the Lions Gate Bridge:

Very well-endowed paint-man.
Brilliant! Wonder if he eats his fiber?

Thursday, April 14, 2011

The Loser Cruiser aka, Public Transit

Oooohhh, I take a bus to work (shocking I know).

The idea of this post started with me sitting in traffic this morning on my bus trying to merge onto the Lions Gate Bridge. Apparently there was an accident on the Stanley Park Causeway and we were pretty much creeping along at a snail's pace. And because of the slow moving traffic, I had the opportunity to observe the North Van and West Van vehicles and the passengers in them. And what I saw was single occupant cars all around me. Not a single car had more than one person in it.

And this got me thinking, the attitudes of North Shore residents is pretty much snobbery towards public transit. They would rather drive their expensive cars into downtown Vancouver and pay astronomical parking rates, not to mention outrageous gas prices to run their enormous Escalades, then be seen in a bus. What gives? I don't consider myself any less that you snobs and I gladly take a bus to work every morning. Not only am I saving money, I saving the environment.

This snobby attitude of people has to change - it would be one small step in saving this planet. I guess these people would rather look good in their BMWs than look just as good in the bus. And there's really no excuse as far as lack of availability. The North Shore has the best transit availability, no matter where you live.

And while I'm on the topic, those parents who drive their kids to school and live three blocks from the school - I mean come on!!! Put your hood up, stick a hat on, grab an umbrella and get walking for Gawd's sake. Your hair will survive and there is such thing as waterproof makeup. It's really quite pathetic actually. You know that thing called exercise, where you're supposed to move your body, burn calories, and get healthy - severely lacking these days.

Well anyway, that's my rant over with. I know I'm not the only one who thinks this. I've had conversations with other mums too.

Next stop...

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Weerd Inglish - I can speek it good

Inglish iz a very straynj langwij. Itz supost to bee won ov the hardist too lern. Im not shoor wy; wee doughnt hav mascoolin or feminin werdz lyk French or Spanish. Our werdz just ar watt thaey ar.

Wee hav certin werdz that sound the same butt meen difrint things and they can bee hard to figer owt how too yooz them. Werdz lyk:

Their, There, They’re
Your, You’re
Too, To, Two
Its, It’s

C? Itz hard too figer owt how to yooz thees werdz corectlee wen speeking or ryting a sentins. Wee lern how to yooz thees werdz when wee ar in scool. When we ryt esayz we wil get les marcs if wee yooz thees werdz rong. Ar scool graydz depend on us lerning how too reed and ryt corectly. Yet manee timz I get eemalz that hav the rong yoos of thees werdz and the culpritz ar ushyooaly a persin hoo is hyer up then mee at werk.

Haow can a persin hav athoritee over mee and not noe haow to yooz propr Inglish? I doughnt get it. I fynd it straynj that I hav too correct the Inglish of my supeeriorz.

I can onlee hope that myee childrin yooz propr Inglish in thayr daylee livz, althoe the kidz ov todayee seem too hav thayer Iz glood to teeveez or sum typ of teknicle dee’veyes. Heerz hoeping that meyen grow up too bee nolejable ov ar Inglish.

Whew, that was actually hard!

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Dear Mirror...

...I hate you.

You've completely bailed on our friendship. I don't want to be the person who's looking back at me today. That flat, and lifeless hair, not mine. Those crows feet at the corner of those eyes, not mine. That neck that's ALMOST starting to morph into a double chin, not sure from what creature you stole that from. Those not-so-white teeth...uhm, excuse me, I use those whitening strips!!! And who messed up the mascara....? Wait a minute, are those jowls? WHAT THE HELL ARE THEY DOING THERE?? And what's with the easy button that looks like it could erupt like a volcano. Don't teens only get easy buttons?

Perhaps I also made the mistake of looking in the full length mirror too, because I swear you both are out to ensure that I travel to an early grave and fast. Who's butt is that?? Mine is perky...isn't it? And I thought muffin tops were supposed to be on actual muffins, not my sides. The person posing back at me looks like they ate all the muffin tops (....oh wait, was that me?). And where did the boobs go? I swear I had perky little boobs. All I see are saggy sacks that look like they can't wait to head south.

So what gives? What did I do to upset you? I want to go back to being friends, but I can't when you betray me like that. Friends are supposed to help each other out, right? Perhaps we should separate for a while. You can go your way and "reflect" on how you portray me. I'll go my way and drown my sorrows by eating another muffin while sucking back a bottle of wine. ~Sob.

Yours truly,


Saturday, April 9, 2011

Fragrant Thai Curry Dinner - Sans Ring 'o Fire

...well somewhat fragrant anyway

I get recipes sent from Canadian Parents dot com on a regular basis in the hopes that I'll get motivated to create an awesome dinner for my family. This because many nights a week cereal boxes come out for dinner and that's the best I can do after coming home from work and promptly turning around again with kids in tow on our way to one sport or another. So the other day I got my weekly recipe from and it was Fragrant Thai Curry. Okay, cool, I can do this.

The picture on the email looked really good and the list of ingredients seemed fairly easy (I'm lazy and if it gets too complicated I'm out). So I went to the store and picked up what I needed (and cheated a bit too because if I don't find an ingredient, I'll use something else - no one's dead yet in my family...and besides I like cheating and not getting caught).

So here's the ingredient list:

12 oz (375 g) firm tofu, drained

Cheat #1, tofu - okay so here's the thing, tofu is one of those nasty ass foods that should be banned. It's all weird feeling in your mouth and reminds me of eating a slimy insect (don't ask, I've never eaten bugs but it's just how it feels)

So I used chicken instead.

2 tbsp vegetable oil
1 medium onion, sliced
1 lb sliced fresh Mushrooms (white, crimini or oyster)
1 can lite coconut milk
3/4 cup vegetable broth

Cheat #2 - I couldn't find veggie broth...okay so Wal-Mart was my shopping destination, perhaps I should have gone to Super Valu, but hey...I didn't

So I used chicken broth instead

2-3 tsp Thai red or green curry paste

Oh for Pete's sake cheat #3 - what the hell is curry paste anyway. I couldn't find any but I did find curry powder, so...

I used curry powder instead

2 tsp finely grated lime rind
1 tbsp fish sauce (or substitute for  ½ tsp salt)

Yup you bet, I used salt instead (the words fish and sauce together remind me of something the fish is squeezing out of his ass - so I'm not eating that)...!

2 cups halved green beans (I used zucchini)
1/3 cup diced red pepper
2 tsp sugar
½ tsp lime juice
2 green onions, thinly sliced
Fresh Thai basil or coriander leaves (optional)
2 cups (500 mL) hot cooked jasmine or white rice

So here's how you do it:

1. Cut tofu (a'hem chicken) into 3/4 “(2 cm) cubes. In large skillet or wok heat oil over medium- high heat, stir fry onion 1-2 minutes. Add tofu/chicken; stir-fry until lightly browned.
2. Add mushrooms and stir-fry 2-3 minutes. Stir in coconut milk, broth, curry paste, lime rind and fish sauce; bring to boil while stirring to blend well.
3. Add green beans; reduce heat to medium and boil 5- 8 minutes or until beans are crisp-tender. Add red pepper; cook until sauce has thickened to desired consistency, about 3-4 minutes.
4. Stir in lime juice and sugar. Serve over hot rice and garnish with green onion and basil or coriander.

And here's what mine looked like:

Not bad if I do say so myself.

I was pretty good actually. I bought Naan bread to have with this to help sop up the liquid and there's enough left over for tomorrow night. I wasn't spicy by any stretch of the imagination so go ahead and add your "ring 'o fire" spice.

Wanna know what the kids ate? Not the above. They thought it looked gross so they had chicken nuggets. I tried and I failed. The dinner was good tho' and I'm mighty proud of myself.

As they say, bon appetite!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

Being a Lady - An Olympic Sport

And the Gold Medal goes too...

The sun has been out a few days this week here in RainCouver, so I thought I’d break out my khaki GAP skirt that sits just above the knee and wear my first non-winter item this year. Pairing this item with my brown Peter Pan boots (that’s the only way I can describe these leather masterpieces that I purchased at Aldo about 7 years ago. $120 well spent on leather that has lasted the test of time, I love these brown babies), and my purple RW@Co sweater, I gots me a pretty nice outfit for work. I am Hot Stuff.

So I do the usual quick checklist of activities that need to be done when wearing certain things. For example:

Sleeveless top: shave the pits


Open toe shoes: ensure the piggies are picture perfect


Khaki GAP skirt that sits above the knee: shave the walkers – check, did that few days ago and still looking reasonable.

So I’m sitting at my desk and obviously the skirt will ride up a little when in the sit position, and I notice my very unladylike shave line – that glaringly obvious line between clear cut forest and where the tree line starts. Damn it! It’s usually not that noticeable when I’ve got a little colour on my skin, however, I’ve got me some pasty white walkers thanks to Father Fall, and Old Man Winter. My legs haven’t seen the sun since about last August. So that got me thinking about all the things that we women have to do to make ourselves presentable in public (or at least most of us do anyway – some ladies I’ve seen are Walmart of America poster children. No seriously, you should see these people, check the site out).

So here we go...

Shaving of the legs (a must for all women people...please)

Shaving of the pits (ditto per above, no man wants to see a shag rug under your arms)

Shaving of the lady parts (if wearing any form of beach attire….oh heck anytime, nobody wants to be known as the Forest Capital of Ladydome)

Plucking/shaping of the brows (a uni-brow does not a pretty face make, and word of caution,  they should frame your eyes, not a small country)

Moisturizing of the entire body (a must yes. Flaky dry skin falling from your person whenever you move is just gross. It also keeps your skin looking younger)

Making up of the face (no not chola style. Makeup that highlights your features)

Getting the hair did (an easy to work with modern style is fine. My only peeve is people who obviously don't wash their hair. I can tell, and  it's gross)

Thong vs. not thong (think ahead...we don't want to see a knicker line...or see the knickers for that matter, so colour is important too.

And so on~

Are you with me here, like come-on, this is some serious business.

Speaking of the last point, I wasn't thinking today - who am I to judge. So I walk home often to save on bus fare and for exercise. As usual I don my Lululemon bottoms I practically live it. I'm pretty much at the point of no return (ie, 1/2 way home) when I realise that I'm not wearing a thong - I'm fairly certain my knicker line is blatantly obvious, and to boot my monthly friend is visiting and I stupidly ran out of tampons so I'm using the alternative - a big bulky pad that I'm very sure is showing. In my mortified state, I'm straining to walk fast and discreetly because I'm sure that EVERYONE notices. For the love of everything stylish, what the heck was I thinking?

Sigh, I'm so exhausted. It's hard work being a lady.

Tuesday, April 5, 2011

"I've got a fanny pack, wanna see it?"

What not to say in the UK (or if you're me, what you do say and see what happens, hehe)

I come from a British background. I was born in London, UK, but grew up in Canada where of course I learned to speak “Canadian, eh”. My parents, and grandparents would speak to us kids using their own “UK” vocab now and again. My parents have pretty much adopted the Canadian language now, eh? So my exposure to strange “English” words and phrases has been sparse over the years.

I had my first “OH MY GOD SHE SAID WHAT??” faux pas when I was visiting my Sister in London where she was working. She took me out to a restaurant to meet some of the peeps she was working with. One of her co-workers noticed that I wasn’t carrying a bag/handbag/purse/whatever, and asked me where all my stuff was, in my coat pockets? To which I replied with “no, I’ve got a fanny pack, want to see it?” To which they replied, “I sure hope so you are a girl, right?”.

Uhm…I don't...get it?

I learned then and there what a fanny pack is in the UK. Not to be confused with that dorky looking sack thingy we North Americas use for storing our stuff conveniently in when exercising, that sits either above our arse, or if reversed, over our lady/man parts.

I’m heading off to the UK in a couple of months so I thought it would be fun to learn me some new “English” language so that I can fit in. But some of it is downright funny by Canadian standards. Let’s review shall we?

So of course what I think of as really funny usually has something to do with body parts (a-hem) cuz my mind is usually in the gutter - not around the kids of course!

Willy, Todger, Stiffy, Knob, John Thomas, Stonker - all to do with man parts: check and check.

Biggie -what a kid calls his/her poop. HAHAHAHAHA. Wonder if there's Wendy's in the UK. I'm going to ask for a "Biggie Fries" and see what reaction I get.

Crusty Dragon - eeewww a booger. My kids will have fun with that one.

Faff - I actually use this one. Probably because I did it when I was a kid. "Stop faffing around..." my mom would say. In other words, stop farting around.

Fanny - See here's where I went wrong per the above. My fanny is my back side, right? NOT!

Pear Shaped - Means something has become a disaster. So does that mean that a pear shaped lady is a disaster? Ouch!

And check. On that note, time for me to Sod Off.

Monday, April 4, 2011

Good-bye my boy. Try to change your nickers at least once!

...and the parents discreetly watched their children leaving on the big buses on their way to Outdoor School for one whole week - because we didn't want to embarrass the buggers in front of their friends, all waving, kissy-kiss, parents (MOM YOU'RE EMBARRASSING ME!!!!!).

North Vancouver's Outdoor School is an environmental education away-camp/field trip located near Squamish, BC, that if you're lucky enough to be a student in any North Vancouver school, you get to go with your class for 3 to 5 days. My boy is in the grade 6 program - 4 nights/5 days sharing a cabin with about 5 or 6 other boys.

So last night we got packed all that he'll need (everything to ward off the disgusting wet weather we call "RainCouver"). Really when it's nice in Vancouver...we'll it's the best place to live!! Four pairs of nickers, socks, hat, gloves, rain gear, toiletries, etc, etc. And seriously the bag weights a ton - it'll build him some man-mooscles!

So we're at the school and parents/grade sixers are loading their gear in the big bus (that has TVs every few rows - nice), and I'm noticing some of the boys (yes BOYS), have large suitcases full of stuff. Kind of like what my gear would look like if I was travelling to some sunny destination and packed everything I might need (and really you never use it anyway).

So kids board the bus, and parents kind of look away and pretend we're not there, but come-on, there's 30 of us crowded at the front entrance of the school (just let mommy give you one kiss goodbye, I won't see you for a week). BACK OFF MOM!!

So the kids are gone in the trusting hands of their teachers, and the staff at the camp. And I'm counting on one thing. Ma-boy will be wearing the same pair of nickers he left in (the others will be still neatly folded in his bag - apparently mine were too when I went). I'm pretty sure his socks will be able to walk themselves home and he'll probably have enough grease in his hair to cook an entire meal in (eeewwww gross).

Now to the true point. Yes we'll miss the kiddies, but BLISS FOR A WEEK SANS PRE-TEENS. I mean, come on. True 'dat, right?


Sunday, April 3, 2011

Crispy Salmon Sweet Potato Cakes

I'm always searching for new and interesting recipes to make for dinner, just so long as there's not too many ingredients, 'cuz I'm lazy!

I found this sweet potato-slash-salmon cake recipe in a Parents Canada magazine that somehow arrived at my house alongside my kid's Owl magazine.

Crispy Salmon Sweet Potato Cakes - picture copied from the recipe page because I'm too dumb to remember to take a picture of what I created. Although mine turned out exactly as shown.

1 large sweet potato
1 can (213 g) salmon drained
1 large egg
1-2 green onions, chopped
Salt and Pepper
Canola Oil, or Olive Oil for cooking
1 extra egg, for coating (optional) - I did the coating
1 cup dry breadcrumbs for coating (optional) - I used up some cornflake crumbs that I keep for coating food

(see, not too many things for me to remember)

Peal and cut up the sweet potato and bake in the oven until tender to a fork. Once tender, take out of the oven and transfer to a heat proof bowl and mash with a potato masher or fork. Add in the drained can of salmon, the large egg, and green onions, and salt and pepper. Mix all up - easy peasy! Do it quick to keep everything nice and hot.

Put the oil in a frying pan and heat on medium.

I did the coating for extra crispy - mix up the extra egg in a bowl. Put the breadcrumbs in another bowl.  Shape the sweet potato into small patties, cover in the mixed egg, then coat in the breadcrumbs. Mine were quite wet and mushy but I made it work carefully. Place each coated patty in the frying pan immediately - they will stick together when cooking, promise. I got all my coating done and placed the extra patties on a plate ready for the frying pan (assembly line style).

Heat each patty through on one side for about 5 minutes, then flip and heat through on the other side for 5 minutes or so. Do all the patties up making then nice and golden colour (Canadian "colour"). Serve immediately.

Although the recipe does not call for any dipping sauce, you could dip these into tartar sauce, or what my husband and I like to do is use up salad dressing (ceasar, or ranch). These patties are really good and I'm certainly making them again.

Bon Appetit!

Saturday, April 2, 2011

The Lululemon Bag - A Psychology Session on Recycled Plastic

If you want to have a feel good feeling all the time, carry around the ever popular Lululemon shopping bag. Anyone from Vancouver knows about Lululemon. We all have at least 5 bags, which is kind of weird to me because Lululemon, the Vancouver based company, promotes well being (recycling) yet we all want a bag with each purchase. I own 6 bags myself. I was sitting on the bus with my small Lulu-bag, which I use for my lunch, and I was reading some of the quotes on the bag and I thought some of them were kind of funny. Here's a bag:

Do one thing a day that scares you - Uhm, I don't think so. I'm terrified of spiders and I'm not going near one no matter how pretty that quote looks on the bag.

Listen, Listen, Listen, then ask a strategic question - Here's one "can you repeat what you just said, cuz I wasn't listening" haha.

Friends are more important than money - Especially if those friends have lots of money!

Dance, Sing, Floss, and Travel - that order?

Do it now, Do it now, Do it now - Okay, okay, mother!

Don't trust that an old age pension will be sufficient - Better start collecting more pop cans for refund because I'm sure as heck not going to stop shopping for shoes, fo' sho'.

Choose a positive thought. The conscious brain can only hold one thought at a time - Oh thank God you said that cuz I thought I was just dumb.

Wake up and realize you are surrounded by amazing friends - Tried that and I'm surrounded by a snoring husband, twisted blankets, and dried up drool.

Oh well, I still love my Lulu bags and shopping at many of their awesome stores. I proudly display one of my many articles of Lulu wear in my daily outfits. After all, if you want to be a hip North Vancouver mom, you need to wear Lululemon!